I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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