You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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