You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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