god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
