Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
