The maid of honor just puked.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
