Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize