1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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