Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
