The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want a musical about memes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
