let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
