That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize