It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
NoShamevember. You game?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
