help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
