is your mom at the bar?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
