just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize