giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize