So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I deserve this hangover.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I enjoy the company of your penis
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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