he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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