Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There's even glitter on my cock...
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