"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize