Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
