i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
