flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
