ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
