I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
