ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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