Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
