I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm both gender and math confused
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
