you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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