is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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