you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
