What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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