By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
