I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize