Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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