This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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