I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
