haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
