nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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