This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
