Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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