My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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