Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
