The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
