I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
