ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
