I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
