hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize