I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
