When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
