I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
