About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
