so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
pray to the hookup gods
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
