this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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