you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
