jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
