ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
